First of all may I excuse myself as i have been up since 530 am and I am writing this at 9pm. If my writing today does not make sensee, it will be because I do not make sense. I’m sitting in my bed having returned to the golden land of Wales. I went home for the Christmas holidays and found interesting that I needed a transition period to get used to my tow lives, one here in Swansea and the one in Ireland. It is like having two pairs of jeans that you have won to two very didfferent but just as memorable occasions and slippinng them on again. You are reminded of such lovely activities and hope to recreate them but it never quite manageds to line up, things are different, either you’ve grown, lost/put on weight or just got used to wearing skirts; something feels different to the expectation. To the memory, to the part of you that was left with the jeans, I feel as though I have a pair of jeans in Swansea and a pair of jeans in Ireland. It took a couple of days to get back into wearing my jeans in Irelaand. They were a little uncomfortable but soon enough they snugly became my favourite piece of clothing and then I had to leave them behind and return to my previous favourite, the newer jeans in Swansea. These were tight, itchy and din’t yet feel as if they fit, but they did and will again.
We like birds make nests of our surroundings. I have a pretty solid nest in Ireland. It’s familiar and predictable and stable, this is why it was easy to remind myself how to wear those jeans. While in Swansea before I had left I had only just finished my nesting. It was just about perfect when I had left it and maybe that was too soon, because I did not have the knowledge of it’s stability. So I returned a little unsure, a little nervy to what I would find. And it turns out not that surprisingly, it’s just as I left it, waiting for me. I’m hoping with a good night’s sleep my emotions will settle down and let me be safe in my nest.
Now I am not saying i returned home for the holidays back to my old self and patterns, no way. I came back with the person I found in Swansea; the cool, confident, independent me. After a somewhat turbulant adventure I hope somehow I can somehow sew those pairs of jeans together, add a few sequins, patterns and embroidery. One thing is certain, I am not afraid to uncover what next is in store for me, at the begining of this new chapter. Happy 2012, everyone!