Elizabeth Gilbert (author of Eat, Pray, Love) wrote when talking about a state of bliss; “Nothing has changed, yet you feel stirred by grace, swollen with wonder, overflowing with bliss. Everything ~ for no reason whatsoever is perfect.” That is something worth living for, and let me tell you, I’ve experienced it. In fact I’m experiencing it right now. Now in an airport departure lounge, four hours before my flight, listening to Katy Perry on repeat, reading Eat, Pray, Love and writing. I am in pure bliss.
She goes on to saying: “Your treasure – your perfection is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.”
In the middle of a busy world, with sore feet, boredom setting in and uncomfortable sweat covering me I remain in a state where my heart feels as though its jumping for joy. I could be on a tropical island I feel so contented, I can’t help but smile. I feel definitely stirred by grace this weekend. It’s intense and wonderful and yes I know there are people out there that would read this and think “Okay, but you’re stuck in an airport, miles away from responsibility, not entirely hard”. And yes theyre right, these last four days have been a holiday of spirit, for my mind and my heart. I realize now I spent much too much time stuck in my head, talking to myself, making up unhealthy stories and it was easy with so many people who are enablers of tried and tested patterns. Then thrown into these four days kicking and screaming, I was taken away from it all, forced to come out of my mind, yes I wandered back in from time to time but it was much easier to come back and see the forest for the trees.
If you find yourself in that situation, take my advice, and take that break, give yourself permission to be great, give yourself over to live in your body not just your mind, because even with your best intentiions you can never give of yourself fully to anyone if you’re only living in your mind, a mere 5% of your authentic self.
I’m not naive to think it will all be smooth sailing when I return to normality. Of course it won’t, I will be challenged with fears and worries since I now an in debt and I have a lot of college work to do, my ego will jump at the chance to attack my self and I will be greeted with people dealing with their own crap. This is just reality and I understand I have to participate in it.
But and yes! There’s a but! As an old favourite Casablanca line “We’ll always have Paris” I will always have Birmingham, I will always have this moment of complete bliss and I will always have my authentic self, which lives inside of me. I just have to do things that will keep me close to this state.
Starting with my bedroom (my mother will love this!) I have to sort out my room, its a mess more than a mess, its a disgrace! That’s the perfect word for it; dis-grace, if anything could challenge my state of grace it would be my room. Meant to be a sanctuary, a resting place, is covered in accumulated crap! I thought I was finee, i knew my room was a bit messys and I was a bit lazy not tidying it up but in a clear state I can see now how damaging I was being to myself, instead of glittering and sparkling the room, I dirtied it with stuff. A complete reflection of what I was doing tto my mind, fogging and dirtying the windows to my soul. If anyone can relate to my story, go sort it, come on we’ll do it together, I know it won’t be easy, goodness knows I’ll make excuses not to do it but what’s the sacrifice? Why not show off the feathers in your peacock coloured soul? It was given to you for a reason, go up in glory!
So first thing, clear out all the crap, blank canvas, then decorate it to its ful beauty. I’ll then make a collage of all the moments that caused my heart joy, then voila! If you’re reading this and need something in your life, feeling a bit down or stuck, check out your room with fresh eyes. I’m seeing mine as clear as day.
My next plan is college work, to take it on without worry or fretting, to go with it in my authentic self, no fear aand get it done one by one. After al, it’s all nearly done, I might as well enjoy it! It’s so easy to worry and panic yet so not useful.
Then or during, I will remain realistic, not in denial, as I live in reality and the truth will set me free. Okay, there’s the plan. wish me luck!! Oh and for the soul who decides to do something for themselves, let me wish you the same luck. Together we can conquer the world!